That's intense
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Randomize
