great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
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