Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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