Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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