The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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