Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
