guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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