Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
