Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
