I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
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