idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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