Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
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