whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
