I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
