we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
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