i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Randomize
