no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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