I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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