I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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