After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
