Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize