At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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