we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
it hurts more in the daytime
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
he shaved USA in his pubs
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I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
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No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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