she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
handjob tips. give me some.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
These 23 People Had Crazy Sex With Complete Strangers
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
23 Medical Examiners Reveal The Most Disturbing Causes Of Death They’ve Seen
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.