OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
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it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
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I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.