areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?