it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA