Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(510): View more from California

So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...

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(415): View more from California

some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.

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(585): View more from New York

If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays

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17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
Read it at the TFLN blog
(585): View more from New York

The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.

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(518): View more from New York

Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge

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(701): View more from North Dakota

If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.

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(307): View more from Wyoming

I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.

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