think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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