Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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