I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.