Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
23 Insane Reasons People Got Fired
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
These 31 Gross People Really Put The ‘Trash’ In ‘Trashed’
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.