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• (858): View more from California

  I like my sex mixed with concussions.

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• (240): View more from Maryland

  Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  i dont know whats so great about being respectable.

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  19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive

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• (785): View more from Kansas

  Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.

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• (415): View more from California

  This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  You know, be my cock's hype man.

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• (704): View more from North Carolina

  I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.

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• (417): View more from Missouri

  Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.

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  25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.

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• (313): View more from Michigan

  he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"

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• (309): View more from Illinois

  you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.

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• (302): View more from Delaware

  Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.

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