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you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
she told me i tasted like america
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
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