Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(859): View more from Kentucky

I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.

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(859): I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me. http://tfl.nu/euxr

Replies (66) Good night (1305) Bad night (24141)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do

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(203): But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do http://tfl.nu/ke2v

Replies (19) Good night (4953) Bad night (1323)
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened

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(617): there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened http://tfl.nu/7n12

Replies (8) Good night (4279) Bad night (691)
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(513): View more from Ohio

wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?

(1-513): View more from Ohio

how could i say no?

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(513): wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka? (1-513): how could i say no? http://tfl.nu/1o9r

Replies (28) Good night (6404) Bad night (1674)
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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....

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(832): Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all.... http://tfl.nu/501n

Replies (3) Good night (1967) Bad night (816)
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(715): View more from Wisconsin

I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.

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(715): I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa. http://tfl.nu/2ols

Replies (2) Good night (1462) Bad night (591)
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(916): View more from California

I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.

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(916): I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it. http://tfl.nu/ir5l

Replies (4) Good night (1204) Bad night (482)
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(781): View more from Massachusetts

I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again

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(781): I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again http://tfl.nu/5dv2

Replies (2) Good night (879) Bad night (461)
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(312): View more from Illinois

OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???

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(312): OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY??? http://tfl.nu/50ou

Replies (4) Good night (744) Bad night (383)
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(775): View more from Nevada

I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related

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(775): I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related http://tfl.nu/atsx

Replies (2) Good night (609) Bad night (331)
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(770): View more from Georgia

Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.

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(770): Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else. http://tfl.nu/0so2

Replies (1) Good night (245) Bad night (469)
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(905): View more from Ontario

So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?

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(905): So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night? http://tfl.nu/yq72

Replies (3) Good night (893) Bad night (177)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.

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(203): Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic. http://tfl.nu/bb52

Replies (2) Good night (154) Bad night (382)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!

(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!

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(412): I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?! (412): Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?! http://tfl.nu/zxwf

Replies (2) Good night (421) Bad night (194)
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(816): View more from Missouri

Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me

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(816): Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me http://tfl.nu/m080

Replies (7) Good night (498) Bad night (229)

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