you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.