i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
