Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize