Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
So gin and wine won't be happening again
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
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you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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