I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
