I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize