I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Randomize
