i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Randomize
