So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
