i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Just high enough for therapy.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize