im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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