I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
