what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
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