Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Randomize