So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
you had me at cake vodka
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
