i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
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