You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
