I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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