So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Randomize
