So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
