The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Randomize