So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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