If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
