I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Randomize
