Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
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