My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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