i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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