You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
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he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
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It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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