Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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