Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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